But I had a really good reason! I was tired! Tired counts. Plus my kitchen was a mess, so it was either blog or clean up the dishes. Nobody ever earned bad mom points for not blogging.
I ended up making chicken and dumplings out of the cooked chicken from Wednesday night. It was lovely, and I have leftovers for lunch, which is good considering my bank account is overdrawn by $20 right now. But the mortgage is paid, the copay for the doctor's office went through, we have food and the car has gas. So I just won't be able to go out drinking until tomorrow when DH is home.
Oh, who am I kidding, I haven't been to a bar since before the baby was born. In fact, the last time I remember being at the bar was when I was about 7.5 months pregnant and had a bizarre and uncontrollable craving for chicken fries from one of the local college pubs. It was the middle of summer, hot and nasty, and I didn't want to cook. DH and I went over after work and all I wanted was a Diet Coke and some chicken fries. You should have seen the looks I got waddling into the bar. People just glared at me like I was fittin' to get hammered and pick up a random dude. I felt like screaming out, "LOOK, PEOPLE, it's Diet Coke! No rum, just ice! Quit judging me with your eyes, assholes!!!" But I didn't, mostly because I am only brave inside my head.
I used to be a lot ballsier, I think. And in the spirit of my last post, I'm gonna take time to examine that now. Feel free to check out now if you want. There won't be any recipes today, nor scandalous tales, just some thinkin' I feel like doing right now. See you tomorrow.
I grew up kinda sheltered- I wasn't really allowed to go to a lot of parties when I was in high school and pretty much was at home doing crafts and watching television throughout my formative years. I'm also not very competitive, so I didn't really stick with sports for very long, and only really participated in cheerleading because my parents said I had to participate in at least one physical activity. So when I went to college, I went a little bananas. I did the underage drinking thing, I experimented with drugs, I got myself involved in dramas- all the stuff you normally would spread out in the eight years of high school and college, I condensed into my freshman and sophomore years at my little Catholic school in the cornfields. I got the reputation of being a little maniac at school, and I enjoyed it immensely. After I met my (now) DH, I started to settle down a little bit at a time, eventually becoming the hermity little homebody I am now. That's not to say that DH settled me down (far from it, I think I experienced more crazy once he came along), but I had a sense of stability in him and our relationship together that let me hone my personality without all of the chaos or feeling that I'd be rejected for who I was. I made most of the friends I have now during that period of time, and we are a very close bunch, if not geographically, at least emotionally.
I don't regret a bit of it. I did some douchey things, one or two really horrible things, and a whole bunch of awesome things, most of which I remember vividly. Yeah, there were some wasted parts of those years (literally, I think we might have singlehandedly upped the THC quotient in the Earth's atmosphere during the 90's and early 2000's), but ultimately I think that all those choices and their consequences were my particular journey to take, and luckily I came through them with no serious after-effects. OK, my short-term memory may not be the best, but at least I don't have an arrest record or a life-threatening disease.
Ultimately, I think that's why I'm happy about my quiet little life, and what I meant by "I've seen enough fucked up shit." I had my crazy fun, got into my trouble, scared myself a little. Now I have a home I love, a beautiful daughter, a husband I adore and wonderful family, friends and pets. I'm not the rock star or the tycoon, nor will I ever be. We don't have a lot of ridiculous stuff - we own our cars and we're almost out of debt, so that's not so bad, eh? I am content, and I think that's what you strive for, isn't it? To be able to sit back, warm and happy in your cozy life and just chill. Maybe some people want more, and good for them if they do. I'm set.
It's Friday night, and I have big plans. I'm gonna go home and fix frozen Totino's pizza rolls for me and E to eat for dinner (OK, I did talk about food a little, so there), and play on the floor till bedtime. Then I might just have a glass of wine, put away the last of the Christmas decorations (yes, I am a slacker, shut up), and knit. And wait-- 'cause DH comes home tonight and I can't wait to see him.
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